Be Your Child’s Friend but not Best Friend

A close relationship with your children means being there for them – but also knowing when to let go

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Should your mom really be your best friend?

Carr and Gordon (authors of Too Close for Comfort: Questioning the New Intimacy of Today’s New Mother-Daughter Relationship. said it isn’t good when mothers and daughters think of each other exclusively as friends. “I think some disclosure is good, but I think mothers and daughters need to retain some privacy, and a younger daughter still needs an authority figure,” says Carr. “Openness is good, and honesty is good, but there are some things people should keep to themselves.”

5 tips for relating to your now-adult child

When your children reach their 20s, the balance of connection between you and them seesaws. The challenge becomes how to find common ground without overstepping the comfortable boundaries between you. The issues become how much time to spend together and how to spend it, how much information to share and about what, which battles to fight and when to turn the other cheek, what advice to give and when silence is golden.

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Emerging adults need a different kind of closeness than when they were young.

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