One of the most common client issues I see as NeedAMom is that of daughters with unloving, uncaring, narcissistic or toxic mothers. This came as a surprise to me. I think we all believe that “everyone else” has a great, supportive, understanding, loving mom. For the most part, that’s what we observe with our friends or in the media.
It simply isn’t true.
I often tell my clients “You have an opportunity! You didn’t get the family you wanted but now you get to create the family you need.”
The pain of these clients is real and resonant but it doesn’t have to be crippling or lasting. I agree with Peg Streep, author of Daughter Detox: Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life who writes “What you experienced in childhood need not continue to hold you back in life. What was learned can be unlearned with effort.”
Peg Streep’s books (https://www.amazon.com/Peg-Streep/e/B000AQ3GWS/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1520449170&sr=8-2-ent), her website (http://pegstreep.com/home-two-eyegasm/), blog for Psychology Today (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/tech-support) and Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/PegStreepauthor) are good places to start.
And if you’d like to work with me, I’m ready to work with you.
Hi! My name is Julie. I’m a mother and a grandmother. I’m interested in knowing the ways this organization works. For example, are their scheduled events where people meet in groups to get to know each other?
Hi Julie, That’s an interesting idea but, to date, I just deal one-on-one with my clients either in person, via Zoom, on the phone, etc. Best, Nina
Hey my name is sheeba from Pakistan.i am a mother IAM interested to work with your organization.please some guide me.
Hi Sheeba, I am the only person in my business in the US although I do have some international clients. You might be able to start something similar in Pakistan but I think you would need a business advisor, insurance, some professional counseling experience, etc. Plus a plan to market and promote the business. I find it very rewarding; it is a lot of work and since I keep my prices low, it is not a big money-maker. Good luck!
I’d like to offer something. It is very alienating and frustrating to constantly read articles and books with the daughter as the focus, with no mention of sons anywhere in sight. I’m just wondering what the thought process is behind this? Is there some unwritten law that I don’t know about that says “no female authors must ever include sons in their literature because 100% of them have good relationships with their mothers?” I don’t mean to come off as too critical of what you’re doing here and what others are doing, everyone has freedom to write about what and whoever they please. It just hurts.
I have no ego about this and no answers for you. I am simply stating the truth in regard to my clients who, for whatever reason, are 90% female, 9% transgender or non-binary and about 1% male. They contact me and apparently young men do not (some have to ask for sexual things or to lie to their girlfriends). I have two grown sons with whom, yes, I have incredibly good relationships. I have no idea why this dynamic exists. Why don’t you write about your sons (if you have sons and have issues with them)? BTW, I have also counseled parents on how to interact with their adult children which is a very special skill set that many, many lack – with sons and daughters.
Just looking for a mature woman to send time with, talk to. Spend holidays with. I don’t have a family
Hi Eryn, I’m so sorry I’m just seeing this now. What I provide is maternal type support services – usually by phone, text, Zoom – occasionally at a coffee shop or the like if convenient. I don’t know if these kinds of services are of use to you. Have you tried joining local organizations, groups, churches, etc where you like to meet like-minded people who can open their hearts and homes?
Hi. My name is Katsumi. To be honest, it is normal for them to be traumatized by the experience of spending childhood without love from their mother. Although it would be a problem if they worried too much all the time. From my perspective, the cause is they are being isolated. Therefore, they must need company. In conclusion, what they should do is join communities where they feel at home. In this way, they might overcome problems.
I couldn’t agree more. I always tell my clients who either lost their mothers or had less than good mothering that if you’re let down or disappointed by the family you’re born into, you have an amazing opportunity to create the family you want which definitely includes community.